Friends and guests, hello everyone! How are you feeling? It’s not in vain that I ask. Convincing and persuading people works best when you are in a great mood.
Things aren't going well and you want more? In this case, it may be interesting and very useful personal growth training.
Let's get down to business. Let's look at how to learn how to persuade people to achieve certain goals. Ready to learn a few secrets?
How to persuade correctly?
The sequence of actions can be divided into 4 stages:
- Gain a person's favor. At a minimum, he should be interested in the dialogue. It will be great if a person starts to trust you.
- Identify needs related to your goal. For example, if you are going to persuade a person to buy real estate, then it would be a good idea to find out his wishes on this topic. If you want to persuade your boss to raise your salary, then it will be useful to know what results he is striving for and how you can help with this in order to deservedly receive additional income.
- Offer an option that completely suits you and presumably corresponds to the person’s identified wishes.
- Competently answer all objections and get what you want.
If you read my past articles, you probably saw similarities with. The “core” of this communication scheme in many cases allows you to correctly and competently convince people to do something.
I’ll say right away that persuading people over the phone is much more difficult, unlike situations where there is eye contact. Emotions, gestures, and facial expressions play a huge role.
The main secret of persuasion
Do you already have your first thoughts on how you can learn how to properly persuade a person to get what you want? In fact, the approach to each person is individual. The ability to persuade comes only with experience. It’s difficult to do without practice; theory alone won’t get you far.
Attention! Now I will “tell” you one cool thing. If you learn to do this, the prospects will become simply enormous.
A person should think that he himself came to the decision you need, without realizing that he was consistently “led” to it.
Let me immediately note that the whole scheme is built on benefits for humans. That is, achieving your goal should benefit him. Therefore, under no circumstances should you lie.
Consider one interesting point. The interlocutor who needs to be convinced to do something may have a hidden need. That is, he really needs something, but no serious thoughts have arisen on this topic yet. The question just needs to be raised, updated and the necessary information correctly presented.
Ways to gain favor
The above 4 steps work when talking on the phone and during a personal meeting. However, when a person sees the interlocutor there are a number of advantages that allow one to achieve greater trust. Do you know how to do this correctly?
- Don't argue. Why negativity in its pure form? If you want to convince a person, then emphasize the importance of his opinion and give several reasons that can change him.
- Talk about things that are of interest to the other person.
- Smile. Of course, only if there is a reason for it.
- Use gestures.
- Listen carefully.
- Choose the right intonation.
- Don't be forced.
This is just a short list. Each situation is individual and should be approached accordingly. It just takes practice.
As you can see, learning to win people over is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance. It’s just that during a conversation a person should feel significant and heard. How often does this happen in life?
I hope it is now generally clear how you can learn to persuade different people in order to induce them to do something. Remember that in each case the actions may be individual.
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We often wonder how to convince a person? How to convince him that you are right? how to convince him that it will be better this way. Quite often, the positive result of any business directly depends on the ability to convince a person that you are right.
It is a pity that we acquire the ability to persuade people in the process of life, and not from the cradle. Pretty hard convince a person something he doesn't believe in. Therefore, to be more likely to convince, you need to practice more. Before answering the question “How to convince a person?” you need to correctly argue this or that situation.
How to convince a person?
As they like to say: “You cannot force a person to do what he does not want.” Actually it is possible. You just need to try really hard for this.
The skill of persuading a person is useful in all areas of life: at work, at home, in leisure.
A great way to persuade is to tell the truth, looking into the eyes and not gesticulating. Calling him by name will help convince a person. This will endear the interlocutor to you and your requests. After all, everyone likes it when they call you by name. You can use pet names. This skill makes a person like you much more strongly. The person becomes like an “open book” and it is much easier for you to win him over.
How to convince a person that you are right and quit smoking
The best way to persuade is explanation. It is rare that your interlocutor will agree with your solution to a problem only after asking a question. When convincing a person that he is right, that he is wrong, or in quitting drinking, you must explain to him all the positive aspects of the decision made, the negative aspects, and only after that give him the opportunity to choose.
You must understand that before the conversation you do not need to focus on the question: how to convince a person . You need to talk calmly and help him make the right choice. After all, you must also understand that your point of view will not necessarily be correct and best for someone else.
How to convince a person that he is wrong over the phone
It is more difficult to convince over the phone, because you cannot look at the person (which allows you to better win the person over), the interlocutor cannot understand whether you are lying to him or not. The phone changes its voice a little. Therefore, even if you tell the truth, your interlocutor, on the other side of the phone, may think that he is being lied to and will not listen further. But if they trust you, then convincing a person of anything will not be difficult.
Everyone should have the skill of persuasion. After all, how else can you persuade your boss to raise your salary, or how can you force your husband to quit smoking? This opportunity will help you in all your endeavors.
How to convince a person not to drink anything
No matter how much a person is interested in studying this skill, this science will probably never be fully studied. Each time, in response, new blockers of this art are studied. That is, no matter how much you can convince a person, situations will happen when either you will not succeed, or someone will counterattack, and you will simply accept his point of view of some situation.
How to convince a person in 30 seconds
In order to be a master of this matter, you need to practice more, study literature on this topic and try to lie to others as little as possible. And before insisting on your point of view, answer yourself: “Is my position correct?”
How to convince a person
Few people understand that in business, as in life, a very important point is the correct relationship with people. People with speaking skills and the power of persuasion very easily climb to the top of their success. And the skill with or convince a person of your dream/goal/idea- this is an invaluable gift. And so I will now share with you small, but I hope very useful for you, rules of skillful persuasion.So, you can win over your interlocutor almost without words and certainly without foaming at the mouth. Moreover, you can not only position, but also convince him that you are right I use several very simple methods, which I will talk about further.
1) Take your time.
Always give the person the right to express their opinion or thought. Don’t even think about interrupting him or stopping him mid-sentence, no matter what he says. Also, do not push him or finish his statement with your own words. If you ask a question, be sure to wait for an answer, and do not put forward your own versions before the person speaks.
2) Show interest.
When talking, look at your counterpart. Because, even if you listen to him very carefully, but only look at something else, your interlocutor will largely regard this as a lack of any interest in him. To demonstrate basic understanding, nod your head from time to time and insert short remarks like these: “yes, yes, I agree,” “that’s exactly right!”, “nice to hear that,” “how interesting,” “I’ve always thought about that.” Just don’t interrupt the conversation with long digressions like: “you know, this reminds me of one interesting incident from my childhood...”
3) Be specific.
In our society, many conflicts arise simply because of simple misunderstandings. To prevent these misunderstandings, use simple clarifications using, for example, these initial phrases: “You must definitely correct me if I’m wrong...”, “If I understand correctly, then it turns out...”, “As I now understand you...", "In other words...".
4) Think about it.
When you take a short pause during a conversation, supposedly thinking about the information you heard, you can find out how confident your counterpart is in his words or in himself. This technique very often forces people to change their assumptions and wishes to ones that are more beneficial to you. And yet you won’t even say a word.
5) Speak quietly and quietly.
6) Don't overdo it with smiles.
A smile is, of course, an important element of confidential communication, but it should be sincere and not intrusive. That is, it is very important not to overdo it. Three quarters of our population are wary of people smiling too much. If it turns out that your mouth is constantly stretched to your ears, then you will probably get the feeling that you are either feigning friendliness or are not serious about the words spoken by your interlocutor and the issue under discussion.
7) Don't be afraid to make mistakes.
There’s no point in trying too hard to prove to people how wrong they can be. By doing this, you are just opaquely hinting that you are smarter than them. And who will like it? I definitely don’t =))) I think the same for you. The best way to avoid this is to always allow for the possibility of your own error. I’ll show you with an example: “Of course, I think differently, but it’s quite possible that I could be mistaken. Be sure to correct me if I’m saying something wrong or if I’m wrong about something.”
8) Use the "yes, but..." form
When people directly hear the word “no,” norepinephrine enters the bloodstream. This immediately, on a subconscious level, sets us up to fight. And, conversely, when we hear the word “yes,” it leads to the release of pleasure hormones into the body - endorphins. To all of the above, the conclusion is very simple: instead of saying a sharp “no” head-on, it is better to effectively answer: “Yes, but I wanted ...” and now you can express your terms of the deal or whatever you have =) )). This way you maintain a friendly atmosphere and force your interlocutor to seek compromises.
All people are different, and everyone has the right to their own point of view - this, or almost so, says the philosophical wisdom known for centuries. They say you need to accept a person’s right to be themselves and think in their own way. However, it is extremely difficult to come to terms with this fact. It’s one thing when the question concerns fairly neutral questions like “what kind of music do you like” or “what is better: comedies or action films.” But the situation changes dramatically if your opponent’s opinion influences the joint decision. For example, in the case of concluding contracts. And simply in cases where it is fundamentally important to convince a person that you, and not he, are right!
In order to convince a person that you are right, it is enough to know a few ways to win the interlocutor over to you.
1. Be sincere. Even if everything is boiling inside you, you must maintain calm and composure, otherwise persuasion methods will not work. Smile broadly and carelessly, no need to get under your opponent’s skin, loosen your grip. Do not pretend that you are absolutely indifferent to the outcome of the negotiations - because this is not the case. Just be open and willing to talk.
2. Before you believe that your proposal or point of view is exclusively correct, clearly believe it yourself. This is so, and it cannot be otherwise.
3. Let the person know that you respect him and his point of view. Intersperse your beliefs with neutral remarks. Insist, but with a smile. And agree with him. Take it for granted: your interlocutor is (most likely) not a stupid person. His point of view is also worthy of respect! The question, by and large, is not how to convince a person, but how to make him want to accept your point of view.
4. Impose your pace on your interlocutor. However, you should not do this abruptly and rudely. You need to be on the same page. But how! It is important that your pace is picked up by the interlocutor, and not vice versa. To do this, after the phrase he says, speak at exactly the same pace as him (slowly or quickly), and at the end of the phrase, be sure to increase or slow down the tempo. Thus, you not only create conditions for negotiations that are convenient for you, but also subconsciously make it clear to your opponent that he is playing by your rules.
5. Speak the same language. Before you convince a person to buy something from you or accept your terms, stand in his place: would you take something that is being so diligently “peddled”? Hardly. However, talk about benefits that interest your interlocutor. And it doesn’t matter whether you are selling something or simply convincing a friend of the correctness of your ideas, make it clear that you hear him, listen and, generally speaking, mean the same thing! So you “turn around” to the interlocutor and he, willy-nilly, has to give up his defensive position.
6. Don't be boring. Whatever the dispute is: an attempt to sign a business contract on favorable terms or to convince a friend that your favorite film is better than his - there is no point in throwing around facts alone. If the person in front of you is erudite and passionate, he may well bombard you with facts that indicate the opposite. So you can prove something for a very long time and prove nothing in the end. Agree with him, balance.
7. Provide your arguments in the form of questions. It's paradoxical, but it works. Let's say you and a friend are arguing about whether a certain actor's role in a given film is the peak of his career. Are you sure that yes, it is. Ask the question: "Can you name the films released during that year in which he performed better?" And the friend will think a little... The protection is partially broken.
6. Overcoming resistance. If you successfully managed to overcome the previous stages, you will notice that the person has “thawed out” and become more complacent and disposed towards you. In other words, some of the barriers to his resistance have been overcome. How to convince a person that you are right? Build questions in such a way that the interlocutor answers “yes”. Ask emotional questions, provide a comfortable environment.
The veil has now been lifted somewhat on the mystery of how to persuade people.
Hello, dear readers! We have to convince people in different situations: at work, at school, in our personal lives. Remember the last moment when you had to communicate with a person to win him over to your side. Was it easy for you? If you are reading this article, then most likely you have failed. But it is so important to know how to persuade a person correctly. But this skill can be easily learned. Therefore, today I want to talk about how to convince people in various life situations, what should definitely be emphasized and what should definitely be avoided.
If you want to master the skill of persuasion perfectly, then you cannot do without this book: Robert Cialdini " Psychology of influence. Convince. Make an impact. Defend yourself" It is she who reveals this topic in its entirety, in understandable language; it provides clear and simple examples with which you can easily learn to convince anyone.
Power of persuasion
The ability to force a person to accept your position is extremely useful in various areas of life. Persuade. Arrange with your lover to go to the cinema. Make a friend go on a diet together and so on. In all these situations, it is extremely important to understand how best to influence your interlocutor in order to win over your opinion and push him to take the actions you need.
If things are extremely difficult for you today, don’t be upset or worry. This is a skill that can and should be developed every day, albeit in small portions. Start small and work your way up. Of course, you most likely will not be able to perform complex techniques right away, because this requires experience. This is why I caution you against haste.
What does it mean to convince another person? Give the necessary arguments, show an example, make you think in such a way as to direct the person’s actions in the direction you want. It is extremely important to understand the real beliefs of the person himself.
Remember that all people do only what brings them material, mental or moral benefit. This is exactly what your actions should be aimed at. Show the person the benefits he will receive.
The process of persuasion depends on many factors. You need to win over just one person or an entire group; you are trying to negotiate with your boss or your girlfriend; in front of you is a person or friendly regarding your idea. All this requires completely different tactics. Let's look at each situation in more detail.
Persuasive speech
I want to start with preparing the speech. When you need to make a presentation on a new product to clients, or convince the board of directors about a new direction for your business, or speak impressively in front of an examination committee. All the principles given below can be useful to you in a personal conversation, when you need to win over just one person to your side.
The first principle is your understanding of the essence. In order to convince many, to win over the majority, you need to clearly understand your intentions and goals. If you are unsure of your belief, it will be immediately obvious.
You don't have to just prove, you have to show the beauty of your idea and the benefits for the audience you are speaking to. You will gain more trust if people see your confidence and determination.
The second equally important point is the structure of your speech. A poorly prepared speech will leave behind only a bitter aftertaste and disappointment in the speaker. Therefore, it is extremely important for you to learn how to plan your speech correctly.
How to structure a performance? First comes the introduction. It should be short, concise and indicate the essence of your further speech. You can immediately set a serious tone or start with a joke, which will give the speech a lighter and more relaxed format.
After the introduction comes the main part. Pay special attention to the way you speak. It's just as important as what you say. Persuasive speech should be clear, easy to understand, logical and coherent. Don’t fuss, don’t try to cram as many examples, evidence and arguments into your speech as possible. Focus on two or three of the strongest and backed up by authoritative sources.
Break your speech into small blocks. Information is better absorbed in short and precise expressions. Don’t be afraid to ask your audience questions and feel free to answer your questions. But be careful, improvisation has its pitfalls. Therefore, try to think in advance what questions you may be asked.
And if you really have to improvise, then for preparation you cannot do without the article “”.
In conclusion, briefly restate the entire speech with the main points, and make the main statement, which should motivate people to take certain steps (buy your product, enroll in courses, etc.).
Useful tricks
Now let's talk about what tricks you can use to convince a person in a personal conversation.
When you speak, watch your tongue carefully. The same information can be presented in completely different sauces. I invite you to think about the following two phrases: “I have no money” and “I am currently experiencing a little financial difficulty.” How do you see the difference in these phrases?
When you win a person over to your side, try to use emotionally charged words. A meager and lackluster argument, even if it is well supported, will cause much less response than an emotional speech.
When you talk to a person, you can use gestures and facial expressions to gain more trust from him. This is done in a simple and simple way - take his pose. When we look like a person, he subconsciously feels sympathy for us and trusts our words more. You can find out more about body language in the article “”.
In the psychology of persuasion, there is an excellent technique that marketers use everywhere - creating a visible deficit. We all want to have something unique and special. Therefore, when a limited edition of a product is released, the store is bursting with queues.
A useful example of long-term persuasion is exchange. In order to get what you want from a certain person, give him something. For example, lend a drill to your neighbor, give your boss tickets to the opera, give it to a friend. By such an act, you oblige the person to repay you good for good. Don't overdo this technique.
Always remember to be honest and open. People are more inclined to trust someone who does not hide anything, is friendly and smiling. It is difficult to agree with someone who is gloomy, mutters something under his breath and does not evoke positive emotions in general.
The “three yes” technique. Start the conversation with two questions to which the person will definitely answer positively: the weather is good today, yes; As I see, you are a little tired today, right? After this, the person will be inclined to answer the third question positively.
Never forget about the benefits that a person will receive by agreeing with you. You need to convince him not that he just needs to act a certain way, but how much good he will get from this action.
Touch sometimes works wonders. A light pat on the shoulder, a gentle touch on the arm, elbow or forearm. All this will help you establish a closer relationship with the person. Try not to overdo it with such gestures. Firstly, each person has his own comfort zone, read about this in the article “”, and secondly, your gesture may seem intrusive and will only push you away.
Be attentive to your interlocutor, speak briefly and to the point, praise the person, focus on the benefits for the person himself, do not push if you see obvious disagreement.
How often do you have to convince people? Is it easy for people to agree with you? What might influence you to decide to change your point of view to the opposite?
Train and practice. Only then will you be able to hone this skill to perfection.
Best wishes to you!